dance

i used to dance. did you know that? i danced from the time i was in third grade until i graduated from high school, with several breaks for various reasons. i was never good. and i'm not just saying that. i really was not ever good. i'm not light enough on my feet for the leaps and pirouettes, but my mind works in a way that's conducive to remembering combinations and the way my feet should move. still now, years after i've stopped dancing, my mind repeats the rhythms and combinations whenever i'm listening to music. it's not a conscious thing. but as i listen to music, i notice my toes moving. and then i hear it in my head. tombe, pas de bourree, glissade, jete, glissade, jete, sous sous, sote, tombe, pas de bourree. and i can remember the rhythm for every dance we ever learned. and they fit with every song i ever listen to. i see dances in my head when i listen to music. and i really really miss dancing. when i go home, i try to go see my old dance teachers. over christmas, i did a private lesson with one of them. and for 45 minutes, we laughed and danced and there was joy. i guess i still kind of dance.