enough

I couldn't begin to count the number of times in my life when I have felt or been told that I was not good enough. Dance classes, soccer and basketball games, the cafeteria at school, church, graduation day, the dorms, chapel, Bible classes, and other every day events. I don't know where this feeling came from. I've spent enough time in therapy over the years to be aware that everything I feel and believe now came from a comment or experience from my past. But that's not important here.

"By the grace of God, I am what I am" - 1 Corinthians 15:10

But am I good enough? I've always struggled with feelings of inferiority. I'll never be as skinny or pretty as the girl next to me. I'll never be able to paint or sing or dance as well as someone else. I'm constantly comparing myself to others. I'm conscious of what others are thinking about me. And in my head, it's always negative. My friends never want me around. Boys think I'm fat and ugly. The adults at church know I'm not "good enough" to be there.

I find value in negative situations because it makes me feel good enough. And I know that is ridiculous.

This morning in the devotional, we sang Here In This Place. I love that song. I don't know if I loved it before this morning, but I love it now.

Lay your burdens down

Every care you carry,

And come to the table of grace,

For there is mercy.

Come just as you are,

We are all unworthy

To enter the presence of God

For He is Holy.

Lift up your heart, lift up your hands

Fall on your knees and pray,

For the King of kings and the love He brings

Is here in this place.

We raise our voices, raise our song,

We offer Him out praise

For the King of kings and the joy He brings

Is here, He is here in this place.

Isn't that awesome? I love it. Two sweet women that I appreciate and love have gently reminded me recently that we're not good enough. We're not good enough for God to love or even look at. But the grace of the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross covers us. So maybe I'm not pretty enough or skinny enough. And maybe my dancing will never make anyone happy besides myself. And that's okay. Because the blood of my Savior covers me. And His Spirit fills me. And that is good enough.