today :)

Somehow, spending time with my friends gave me permission to be at home. Not permission to physically be at home. I don't really have a choice in that one. More like permission to be present at home. And I don't really understand it. But I came home much more at peace with the current situation (not happy with it, or even really okay with it, but at peace with it). It's been nice.

Today, I went to lunch with a friend. I ordered and consumed food in a crowded restaurant with a boy. That was a HUGE deal. It was overwhelming and I over-thought every step of the process, but I did it. Then, I had an appointment about another volunteer opportunity. I'm not sure whether or not I'm going to pursue it. I've got quite a bit on my plate already and I don't know that I need to add another two-three hours a week right now.

On Amazon, Photoshop 8 is on sale for SIXTY FIVE DOLLARS!! I know that's not the best editing software, but it's within my budget right now, so it'll work for a while. I'm sure I'll upgrade at some point, but I'm excited to have SOME sort of editing software on it's way!!

Tomorrow, we're going to one of the middle schools to see a production of Mulan. As one of the eight graders involved stated, "Come see Mulan if only for the hilarity of seeing 70 white kids try to act like asians!"

I'm on day 3 of the 30 day shred. I had to start over, since I definitely did NOT work out while I was on vacation. I went shopping today at Old Navy (does everyone find it as hit or miss as I do?) and bought SHORTS!!! It's been YEARS since I've been comfortable with myself to buy shorts. And we're not talking bermuda shorts either. It was so exciting.

In other news, it was 65 degrees yesterday and today, but by Saturday, it will be snowing. Welcome to the Chicagoland area, folks! We get teased with BEAUTIFUL weather and then it snows. A lot. Perfect. In fact, it was SO beautiful out today that we took the kids out for an extra recess. If the kids had on short sleeve shirts, they had to wear their jackets outside. I was wearing a short sleeve shirt but hadn't taken a jacket since it was so nice out. One of the boys said, "Well, Miss Vick, you're supposed to wear a jacket if you're wearing short sleeves and since you don't have one, you're not supposed to go outside. But you're just learning how to be a teacher, so you didn't know what was expected of you so I guess you can still come." Yeah, thanks... I was also engaged in a wonderful conversation with one of the boys about why everyone is "like, obsessed with me". He just didn't understand. HE certainly is NOT obsessed with me. But he wanted me to know that we ARE friends. This same boy later told me that if someone "triple dog dared" him, he would eat a piece of grass. He was asking for it, so I triple dog dared him. He made a big show of plucking a piece of grass and shoving it in his mouth. The other boys thought it was HILARIOUS and all grabbed a piece. It was entertaining. They all had disgusted looks on their faces when it was in their mouths, but I think they all swallowed it! We got back to the classroom and they were feeling pretty cool. They kept telling all the girls that "it didn't taste like anything!" Such show offs. Always a good story (or twelve) from first grade!!

missing

Yesterday, I should have driven the last five hours back to Searcy with my best friends. Instead, my plane took off at 5:30 and now I'm home. I made it through the whole week with a PAACH (Positive Attitude And Cheerful Heart) but when my plane landed, the reality of the situation hit me again and I lost it. Here I am, 600 miles away from the people that I love. I shouldn't be here.

Today I started my online biology class while I should have been struggling to sit through Earth Science. I miss the dorm and the laughter and Spring Sing and club meetings. I'm missing a ring ceremony tonight for a girl that I love and I should be able to be there. I should be complaining about caf food and checking my mail rather than waiting for my brother to finish up my dinner. I should be struggling to get out of bed for chapel rather than sleeping until I wake up. I should be sitting next to Emily in the library laughing about her unfortunate computer situation rather than texting her about it. I should be staying up too late with my friends rather than staying up late texting them. I shouldn't have to skype them when I want to see them.

I do absolutely believe that God has a plan for the next few months. He's making me stronger and less reliant on people outside of myself. I'm learning to deal with emotions in appropriate ways. I'm growing in ways that I couldn't have grown in Searcy, but I wish I didn't have to.

BUT ANYWAY!! Enough of that :)

This past week was Harding's spring break. Had I been at school, I would have just come home. Since I was already home, I went to meet my friends. We spent a few days at twins' house in Nashville.

Then, we hopped in the car...

And headed to....

HENDERSONVILLE!!!! where we spent our days hiking...

laughing...

and taking a billion pictures!

This is from the March of the Leprechauns. It was such a joke.

Overall, we had an absolutely wonderful week. I'm in love with North Carolina and Emily's family and I loved getting to spend time with my three best friends. They're fantastic. Jicyww :)

shred

Meet my new best friend

Jillian Michaels, I am counting on you. I'm going to Maui in June and need to have a body like yours for the beach. I'll give you thirty days if you can give me that. Except that I'm two days in and not really entirely sure that it's going to happen today. My mouth hurts really badly. And I'm exhausted. So maybe I'll start over tomorrow...

day

Here's how my ideal day would go:

6:30- wake up

6:40- 30 Day Shred in the basement

7:00- Shower, makeup, hair

7:45- breakfast

8:00- leave for school

3:30- leave school

4:00- read, journal or some other equally productive activity

6:00- eat dinner

7:00- watch tv

9:00- go to bed

Here's how my day ACTUALLY goes:

8:58- wake up, realize alarm did not go off, freak out

9:02- shower, makeup, hair

10:17- leave for school

10:18- eat granola bar in the car

3:30- leave school

3:54- crash on the couch

6:03- wake up, freak out that entire day has been wasted and I STILL haven't worked out

7:00- eat dinner

7:40- (maybe) 30 Day Shred in the basement

8:00- watch tv, talk to friends, beach myself on the couch, do nothing productive

11:56- go to bed

Yeah, I'm really good at planning and scheduling. I'm struggling a little bit with follow through at the moment. Maybe once I get this alarm thing figured out (*ahem* remember to turn up the volume before I go to sleep...), my days will look a little more like the above example. But getting up at 6:30 to work out? I don't think that can possibly be good for me...

mail

At school, I hardly ever got mail, but any time I was in the student center, I had to check. By the end of the semester, my best friends started sending me mail every couple of days so that I would have some every time I checked. Then, they started stocking my mailbox, leaving 20 notes in there at once so that I could take some out every time I checked.

Now that I'm home, getting mail means more than it ever has. Today I got a postcard from some friends overseas. I love it.

A few weeks ago, I got a package in the mail. I had received strict instructions to make a phone call before I opened it.

So I did. I tore open the package and saw the single most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life...

Yep, that's right! A letter for every single day. Some days, I even get to open two or three. And there are a few extras for days that I am especially missing them so that I can open an extra one.

This is why I have the best friends in the world. They know that I love opening mail, and so they made sure that I would have some for every single day. It's beautiful :)